Life goes by too fast and we often look for quick and fast ways to do things. Turn around and we see that everything else has changed. I want to talk about my fight with depression, overweight, teaching special needs, ways to do things such as canning, crafting, parenting, grandparenting, trying to do things as natural, but as safe as possible. Coupon hints, money saving strategies, food preparations, Whatever else I can come up with.
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Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
My mother had brain surgery March 19th at Southeast Missouri Hospital. On a previous doctor appointment the week before, Dr. Gibbs suggested her and my brother to talk to the nuclear medicine doctor at the cancer center for radiation. Upon that visit, without a biopsy to know what they were dealing with, the nuclear medicince doctor, Doctor Miller, didn't want to treat the area, incase it was an infection which the radiation would cause it to be worse. Going back to talk to doctor Gibbs, it was suggested for her to have a biopsy or to have it removed. Mom chose to have it removed, to be cut once.
She had to arrive at the hospital early the 19th for a mapping MRI, which took the about an hour. After that, she was taken to pre-op to prepair her for her surgery. We were told that it would orginally take about four to five hours. My brother went back with her, when he came out, he said the nurse told him that it would be about a two hour proceedure.
The surgery started about 10:30, around 11:30 we got an update that all was going well. When 12:30 came, no phone call, we suspected that they were closing it up. A volunteer came to get us so doctor Gibbs could talk to us. My pastor had been there with my family and some other church memebers had come to pray. What a great comfort.
Doctor Gibbs talked to me and my brother and told us that what was found was a fast growing brain tumor. There was no way it could be beat. He appologized and hoped he had found was different that what it was. Glioblastnoma.. Sounds like a tongue twister game. Doctor Gibbs shook our hands.
His hands where buttery soft. He takes great care of his hands. He has too. He saves peoples lives, changes people's lives with his hands. Later that week, I get a hospital magazine in the mail that features Dr. Gibbs. The feature talkes about his love of cooking, his family and God. The same love as my mother. I have a fondness of my mother's hands as well. While growing up, I would look at her hands and fingers as she wrapped her arms around me. My mother has beautiful hands. My mother also changed people's lives with her hands.
My mother was taking to the ICU. I was prepared to see how she could have looked. It took a couple of hours for them to move her there. I was one of the first ones to see her after surgery, and my older brother Jim. She woke up enough to ask what was found was malignant, I told her no, but I knew better. The nurse was checking her tubes and O2 looked up at me. I had to turn my head away from the both. I just lied to my mother. How could I tell her the truth? How could I be the one to tell her that "Well, yea it was!" How was it that I had to lie to her, knowing that I wanted and needed to comfort her! I did tell her that something was found and that it had to be treated with radiation, she seemed ok with it, but she was still under drugs. When my younger brother went in, she told him that I had told her that it was cancer. No, I didn't tell her!
I finially got home that night around 6. Madison went with me. We had a good time together. She is a good kid. We came the long way home, taking old roads, not for sure where we will end up. We got home anyway.
I went to work Tuesday, Madison had a doctors appointment that afternoon. I had planed on taking Wednesday off and already had Thursday off due to a meeting I had at Cape. Just incase something was to happen, I had everyday planned out and ready for a sub. I knew I would need one for Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I had Friday planned as well because I didn't want to come back and come up with something, or I may need another sub. I try to plan out my weeks just incase something was to happen.
Good thing I did. I had to do a coupld or errands in town before I left for the hospital. I would call my brother, but no answer. His wife would text me asking me if I had heard from him, I hadn't. I knew that she would get transfered to a regular room that day. I knew what floor, floor 4, neuology. I went to the desk and ask for the room. I went ther, putting my stuff up, getting things ready. I was told that she should be up anytime.
I finally got ahold of my brother, he had spend two nights at the hospital, in the ICU waiting room. It was very fridgid. Jim had to go home. He has COPD and was getting sick. I didn't know that Everett had a stomach virus, he had been in the bathroom almost the entire day. He had not seen Mom on Tuesday. I had went to the ICU waiting room before I went to the 4th floor and didn't see him, I thought she had been taken up.
I got to see Mom in the ICU, she was eating lunch. Chopped turkey and gravy. She took a bite, looked at me and said "I've had better" She wouldn't eat it. We were there a coupld of hours more before they moved her upstairs.
She had to arrive at the hospital early the 19th for a mapping MRI, which took the about an hour. After that, she was taken to pre-op to prepair her for her surgery. We were told that it would orginally take about four to five hours. My brother went back with her, when he came out, he said the nurse told him that it would be about a two hour proceedure.
The surgery started about 10:30, around 11:30 we got an update that all was going well. When 12:30 came, no phone call, we suspected that they were closing it up. A volunteer came to get us so doctor Gibbs could talk to us. My pastor had been there with my family and some other church memebers had come to pray. What a great comfort.
Doctor Gibbs talked to me and my brother and told us that what was found was a fast growing brain tumor. There was no way it could be beat. He appologized and hoped he had found was different that what it was. Glioblastnoma.. Sounds like a tongue twister game. Doctor Gibbs shook our hands.
His hands where buttery soft. He takes great care of his hands. He has too. He saves peoples lives, changes people's lives with his hands. Later that week, I get a hospital magazine in the mail that features Dr. Gibbs. The feature talkes about his love of cooking, his family and God. The same love as my mother. I have a fondness of my mother's hands as well. While growing up, I would look at her hands and fingers as she wrapped her arms around me. My mother has beautiful hands. My mother also changed people's lives with her hands.
My mother was taking to the ICU. I was prepared to see how she could have looked. It took a couple of hours for them to move her there. I was one of the first ones to see her after surgery, and my older brother Jim. She woke up enough to ask what was found was malignant, I told her no, but I knew better. The nurse was checking her tubes and O2 looked up at me. I had to turn my head away from the both. I just lied to my mother. How could I tell her the truth? How could I be the one to tell her that "Well, yea it was!" How was it that I had to lie to her, knowing that I wanted and needed to comfort her! I did tell her that something was found and that it had to be treated with radiation, she seemed ok with it, but she was still under drugs. When my younger brother went in, she told him that I had told her that it was cancer. No, I didn't tell her!
I finially got home that night around 6. Madison went with me. We had a good time together. She is a good kid. We came the long way home, taking old roads, not for sure where we will end up. We got home anyway.
I went to work Tuesday, Madison had a doctors appointment that afternoon. I had planed on taking Wednesday off and already had Thursday off due to a meeting I had at Cape. Just incase something was to happen, I had everyday planned out and ready for a sub. I knew I would need one for Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I had Friday planned as well because I didn't want to come back and come up with something, or I may need another sub. I try to plan out my weeks just incase something was to happen.
Good thing I did. I had to do a coupld or errands in town before I left for the hospital. I would call my brother, but no answer. His wife would text me asking me if I had heard from him, I hadn't. I knew that she would get transfered to a regular room that day. I knew what floor, floor 4, neuology. I went to the desk and ask for the room. I went ther, putting my stuff up, getting things ready. I was told that she should be up anytime.
I finally got ahold of my brother, he had spend two nights at the hospital, in the ICU waiting room. It was very fridgid. Jim had to go home. He has COPD and was getting sick. I didn't know that Everett had a stomach virus, he had been in the bathroom almost the entire day. He had not seen Mom on Tuesday. I had went to the ICU waiting room before I went to the 4th floor and didn't see him, I thought she had been taken up.
I got to see Mom in the ICU, she was eating lunch. Chopped turkey and gravy. She took a bite, looked at me and said "I've had better" She wouldn't eat it. We were there a coupld of hours more before they moved her upstairs.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
What a way to start the New Year
I am going to try to keep a blog of happenings. It looks like the year 2012 is going to have a lot to post. It started out rocky and only getting rougher.
The 2nd of January,on a Monday, I got a phone call from my brother in Gideon saying our mother is being taken to Southeast Hospital in Cape. She was having a stroke. I got phone call after phone call from my other brother. Chuck called Angi, my sister in law to confirm what was going on. We left for Cape.
We arrived about 10 minutes before her and my brothers did. A friend of mine and Chuck's was an nurse in the ER. That was comfirting.\
She was had to do a CT scan and other test before we could see her. When we got to see her, only two at a time, she had no expressive and receptive language skills. Everything was being answered with "yes". She could not say her name, her age her birth day. She did to manage to say my name. It hurt so bad to see her and there was no way I could help, but I knew what was going on.
She had to be taken for a chest x-ray. I left and let my older brother, Jim go back. He really has a hard time dealing with this.
I went back again and saw her. The ER doctor told me that she was having receptive and expressive euvatia. There that part of the brain was asleep, or not working. The test done so far showed bleed or hemorage. He was consulting with the neurologist on and it was almost within the three hours. It was up to us to make the decision to give her the "mircle drug". My brother asked him if what his mother, what he would do, and I just said No, not to give it to her. The doctors reply was that he would not give it to her. The drug would work if there was a bleed, but at her age and risk was that it could cause her to bleed out. Not worth it..
I spent the first night with her. Everyone else went home.. Within and hour after getting her to her room, I could see improvement. I love how the brain works! When everyone else left, she turned to me and said "I'm not a baby." I told her "I know, but it is my job to stay." I have been in the hospital so many times and this woman was right there with me every day. She washed my face when I got sick after anesthitic. She would help me walk from the bed to the toilet. I think she even help hold me down to get a shot!
The first night, the nurses where coming in every 30 minutes then every hour. The improvement was being seen.
She wanted me to turn the tv on. I was flipping through channels. I stopped at David Letterman. She turned to me and as clear as anything she told me "I don't like him." So, I turned it. I stopped at the Weather Channel. She feel asleep.
The second day, her language was improving so much, but her memory, not so much. Again, seeing her in this state was painful. There was nothing I could do. I know so much about the brain development and how it works that it does amaze me to see the improvement, but she was a long way away.
During her stay from January 2 to Tuesday January 10, she had boughts of sadness, anger, happiness, all emotions in one week. I told papers to work on while I stayed with her. She wanted me to set by her while I done them. She was scratching her head and said "I had three surgies on my head. No wonder I'm crazy." I had to laugh. She never lost her since of humor or modisty.
The first Tuesday morning she was there, a therapist came to ask her name, but she couldn't tell them. When asked her age, she stammered. The therapist had to step out. Mom asked me for a pen and paper. She wrote her age and told me that was what she was trying to say, 80. She was right. When the therapist walked back in, mom showed her what she wrote. I told her that was her age. She got it! Her therapy sessions where very helpful. I didn't go with her on the first one, my younger brother did, but I went with her on the second one and the day after.
One morning, we worked on her spelling her name. She was getting frustrated that she couldn't say it so I signed the letters while she watched. We done it about three times. She watched my hands and said "You're signing, I can't do that!" I told her to just watch, I am giving you cues. When her breakfast came and she was asked her name, she said "You won't belive me." She then spelled her name without looking. The server did believe her.
At therapy that day, she was able to say and spell her name to the therapist! She was proud.
She had to indure the MRI. The first time, I was by myself with her when she was taken. I told them that she is very afraid of small, tight places. If you have never had a MRI or a CAT scan, imagine putting your head in paper bag in a dark room and your riding underneath a semi truck. Very loud. Well, of course, it happened. She got scared and had to be sedated. She slept the rest of the day.
The nursing staff at the hospital where excellent. I have been in many differnt hospitals and have many procedures done. I will say that this nursing staff was one of the best. However it is also a teaching hospital. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it is very benificial to both patient and student. Mom had this one particular nurse aide. He lives in St. Louis and comes to work at night via medic air. He is also a nurse on medic air. He was so funny and amusing. One night he came in to take her vitals. Well, he did warn her first and she came unglued on him. She was trying to get out of bed. Now, my mother is a large woman and this aide, not so big. I had to help calm her down. He got a lesson. From the next time on, he woke her before getting her vitals. He learned.
The week she was in there, she had gone through every emotion there was. She got very scared when my brother left for a little while. She forgot where he was. I would leave my yarn with her when I left so she knew I would come back.
The 2nd of January,on a Monday, I got a phone call from my brother in Gideon saying our mother is being taken to Southeast Hospital in Cape. She was having a stroke. I got phone call after phone call from my other brother. Chuck called Angi, my sister in law to confirm what was going on. We left for Cape.
We arrived about 10 minutes before her and my brothers did. A friend of mine and Chuck's was an nurse in the ER. That was comfirting.\
She was had to do a CT scan and other test before we could see her. When we got to see her, only two at a time, she had no expressive and receptive language skills. Everything was being answered with "yes". She could not say her name, her age her birth day. She did to manage to say my name. It hurt so bad to see her and there was no way I could help, but I knew what was going on.
She had to be taken for a chest x-ray. I left and let my older brother, Jim go back. He really has a hard time dealing with this.
I went back again and saw her. The ER doctor told me that she was having receptive and expressive euvatia. There that part of the brain was asleep, or not working. The test done so far showed bleed or hemorage. He was consulting with the neurologist on and it was almost within the three hours. It was up to us to make the decision to give her the "mircle drug". My brother asked him if what his mother, what he would do, and I just said No, not to give it to her. The doctors reply was that he would not give it to her. The drug would work if there was a bleed, but at her age and risk was that it could cause her to bleed out. Not worth it..
I spent the first night with her. Everyone else went home.. Within and hour after getting her to her room, I could see improvement. I love how the brain works! When everyone else left, she turned to me and said "I'm not a baby." I told her "I know, but it is my job to stay." I have been in the hospital so many times and this woman was right there with me every day. She washed my face when I got sick after anesthitic. She would help me walk from the bed to the toilet. I think she even help hold me down to get a shot!
The first night, the nurses where coming in every 30 minutes then every hour. The improvement was being seen.
She wanted me to turn the tv on. I was flipping through channels. I stopped at David Letterman. She turned to me and as clear as anything she told me "I don't like him." So, I turned it. I stopped at the Weather Channel. She feel asleep.
The second day, her language was improving so much, but her memory, not so much. Again, seeing her in this state was painful. There was nothing I could do. I know so much about the brain development and how it works that it does amaze me to see the improvement, but she was a long way away.
During her stay from January 2 to Tuesday January 10, she had boughts of sadness, anger, happiness, all emotions in one week. I told papers to work on while I stayed with her. She wanted me to set by her while I done them. She was scratching her head and said "I had three surgies on my head. No wonder I'm crazy." I had to laugh. She never lost her since of humor or modisty.
The first Tuesday morning she was there, a therapist came to ask her name, but she couldn't tell them. When asked her age, she stammered. The therapist had to step out. Mom asked me for a pen and paper. She wrote her age and told me that was what she was trying to say, 80. She was right. When the therapist walked back in, mom showed her what she wrote. I told her that was her age. She got it! Her therapy sessions where very helpful. I didn't go with her on the first one, my younger brother did, but I went with her on the second one and the day after.
One morning, we worked on her spelling her name. She was getting frustrated that she couldn't say it so I signed the letters while she watched. We done it about three times. She watched my hands and said "You're signing, I can't do that!" I told her to just watch, I am giving you cues. When her breakfast came and she was asked her name, she said "You won't belive me." She then spelled her name without looking. The server did believe her.
At therapy that day, she was able to say and spell her name to the therapist! She was proud.
She had to indure the MRI. The first time, I was by myself with her when she was taken. I told them that she is very afraid of small, tight places. If you have never had a MRI or a CAT scan, imagine putting your head in paper bag in a dark room and your riding underneath a semi truck. Very loud. Well, of course, it happened. She got scared and had to be sedated. She slept the rest of the day.
The nursing staff at the hospital where excellent. I have been in many differnt hospitals and have many procedures done. I will say that this nursing staff was one of the best. However it is also a teaching hospital. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it is very benificial to both patient and student. Mom had this one particular nurse aide. He lives in St. Louis and comes to work at night via medic air. He is also a nurse on medic air. He was so funny and amusing. One night he came in to take her vitals. Well, he did warn her first and she came unglued on him. She was trying to get out of bed. Now, my mother is a large woman and this aide, not so big. I had to help calm her down. He got a lesson. From the next time on, he woke her before getting her vitals. He learned.
The week she was in there, she had gone through every emotion there was. She got very scared when my brother left for a little while. She forgot where he was. I would leave my yarn with her when I left so she knew I would come back.
MY Mother is Awesome!
In less than a month, my mother had a set back. We hoped it was part of the healing, but to find out days later, not so much. I will get to that later.
I had talked to my younger brother the week before about mom doctors appointment. He said it was progressing good. She had all her motor skills and it would take about 6 months for her to get energy back. That's not bad for a woman who's 80. She is a very energetic and out going person. She does not like to be still. It was good.
On Monday January 30 around 8:15, my younger brother called and told me that mom was at the Dexter hospital in the ER. She was having a set back.
Now, Jim, my older brother, took mom to Dexter hospital, now named Missouri Southern Health Care, for her therapy. She has been doing physical, occupational and speech therapy there. Jim said that when he picked her up to go, she seemed not herself. She wouldn't respond like she should. When he got her to therapy, the therapist thought he should take her to her Dr. Instead, he took to the ER for observation. When I got there, she was non responsive, only repeating "Yes, yes, yes". Her face was being drawn to the right. Her tongue was drifting to the right. She had right sided weakness. I thought, here we go again. Jim was unable to answer some of the questions. I text my sister in law if there was a list of meds, but my younger brother was bringing them with him.
We got her transferred back to Southeast Hospital in Cape. Again, the ride begins.
That night she was given Valium for another MRI and my younger brother went with her. His name is Everett. Her language was coming and going. From that Monday to today, February 5, she has had 2 MRI, body x-ray and a spinal tap. The last MRI was a specialized with contrast. The spinal tap was in hope to find an infection. No such luck! The body x-ray was recommended by Dr. Scott Gibbs. He is a neurosurgeon. Oh, I am getting ahead of myself on this. The reason why he was consulted was that a lesion had been found in the first and second MRI. The second one showed it was larger than a month ago. So not a good thing!
Back to the body x-ray, nothing was found except for a bladder tear. We can deal with that. So, there is no tumors in the body to spread. Again, we are hoping for infection. Give her some antibiotics and good to go. Still have to wait.
The spinal tap came back with no infection. DARN! Not what I was wanting to hear.. However, it also came back with no cancer cells. OK, that is good thing. No cancer, but no infection. We are looking at a benign tumor. She goes in two weeks for more consult and what the options are.
My mother rocks! She does.
I went with her on some of there therapies. She walks with a cane. She inspired another woman to try a cane instead of a walker. My mom rocks! Later that day, a gentle man who did not want to be there, was being told how to put his feet under him and left himself up. He said "I know what you want me to do, I just don't want to do it." So funny. He had everyone laughing. He saw mom pass him by, so he got up and started walking. He even told her to slow down or she'll get a ticket.
The last time I went with her to therapy, she was saying her knees where hurting. The therapist had her lay down on a bed and put heating pads on her knees. I had to leave for a moment to get more yarn that I had left in her room. She told me to put what I was working on her. She'll take care of it. My Mom rocks!
My brothers and I took turns in staying with her. So glad there are three of us to share this responsibility. There is going to be more for us to do. My brothers live with her. I live 45 minutes away. I hate living so far away from her.
There are going to be some more good times and tough times ahead of us. I have to rely on God more and more. Is this a test of faith? I don't want this test! Are my brothers going to lose faith in God and themselves? Yea, I'm scared to know what is going to be ahead of us.
We will find out in two weeks what the options are and go from there. Until then, I have put it all in his hands.
I had talked to my younger brother the week before about mom doctors appointment. He said it was progressing good. She had all her motor skills and it would take about 6 months for her to get energy back. That's not bad for a woman who's 80. She is a very energetic and out going person. She does not like to be still. It was good.
On Monday January 30 around 8:15, my younger brother called and told me that mom was at the Dexter hospital in the ER. She was having a set back.
Now, Jim, my older brother, took mom to Dexter hospital, now named Missouri Southern Health Care, for her therapy. She has been doing physical, occupational and speech therapy there. Jim said that when he picked her up to go, she seemed not herself. She wouldn't respond like she should. When he got her to therapy, the therapist thought he should take her to her Dr. Instead, he took to the ER for observation. When I got there, she was non responsive, only repeating "Yes, yes, yes". Her face was being drawn to the right. Her tongue was drifting to the right. She had right sided weakness. I thought, here we go again. Jim was unable to answer some of the questions. I text my sister in law if there was a list of meds, but my younger brother was bringing them with him.
We got her transferred back to Southeast Hospital in Cape. Again, the ride begins.
That night she was given Valium for another MRI and my younger brother went with her. His name is Everett. Her language was coming and going. From that Monday to today, February 5, she has had 2 MRI, body x-ray and a spinal tap. The last MRI was a specialized with contrast. The spinal tap was in hope to find an infection. No such luck! The body x-ray was recommended by Dr. Scott Gibbs. He is a neurosurgeon. Oh, I am getting ahead of myself on this. The reason why he was consulted was that a lesion had been found in the first and second MRI. The second one showed it was larger than a month ago. So not a good thing!
Back to the body x-ray, nothing was found except for a bladder tear. We can deal with that. So, there is no tumors in the body to spread. Again, we are hoping for infection. Give her some antibiotics and good to go. Still have to wait.
The spinal tap came back with no infection. DARN! Not what I was wanting to hear.. However, it also came back with no cancer cells. OK, that is good thing. No cancer, but no infection. We are looking at a benign tumor. She goes in two weeks for more consult and what the options are.
My mother rocks! She does.
I went with her on some of there therapies. She walks with a cane. She inspired another woman to try a cane instead of a walker. My mom rocks! Later that day, a gentle man who did not want to be there, was being told how to put his feet under him and left himself up. He said "I know what you want me to do, I just don't want to do it." So funny. He had everyone laughing. He saw mom pass him by, so he got up and started walking. He even told her to slow down or she'll get a ticket.
The last time I went with her to therapy, she was saying her knees where hurting. The therapist had her lay down on a bed and put heating pads on her knees. I had to leave for a moment to get more yarn that I had left in her room. She told me to put what I was working on her. She'll take care of it. My Mom rocks!
My brothers and I took turns in staying with her. So glad there are three of us to share this responsibility. There is going to be more for us to do. My brothers live with her. I live 45 minutes away. I hate living so far away from her.
There are going to be some more good times and tough times ahead of us. I have to rely on God more and more. Is this a test of faith? I don't want this test! Are my brothers going to lose faith in God and themselves? Yea, I'm scared to know what is going to be ahead of us.
We will find out in two weeks what the options are and go from there. Until then, I have put it all in his hands.
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